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November 1, 2017 by moloneycian

Arrival into El Dorado airport was slightly frustrating; a local spotted us collecting our bags and advised us to only ever use uber and never ever ever ever use taxis (she was quite serious). Then after failing to book one in the next hour due to shitty airport wifi (fuck you, El Dorado airport), and incurring like $10 in fees (fuck you uber); we opted to jump in a local taxi, which was a little too unlicensed and looking nothing like a fucking taxi for my liking. After shitting ourselves for the next 40 minutes and following the journey by the meter on maps me, we arrived to our hostel. You could tell from the drive in that the city, not as sky-scrapery as Panama City, is generally in good nick, bar the occasional favela. The main highway covered in some really beautiful looking graffiti.


Where downtown meets La Candelaria

We’re staying at Alegrias Hostel. A pretty good hostel in the beutiful La Candelaria area. Location is awesome, and could do with a better common area and wifi, but otherwise really decent. The staff also loved to blast Beyonce on repeat, so if you can’t tolerate that then maybe not for you! They supply banging hot bread & jam for breakfast. All lockers are outside the dorms though. It’s also fucking freezing here, so we’re forced to throw on whatever warm clothing we possess; my only option being skinny jeans and flip flops to make me look like even more of a fucking idiot.


Dance off downtown

We hit the ground running though, blitzing three museums on the first day; two called Museo de Bogotá, which seems like one huge museum split between three different buildings in the city. We went into two and didn’t stay for too long, everything being in Spanish. We then stumbled on to the arty Botero Museum, named after the famous Colombian Artist Fernando Botero. All of these were free by the way. The Botero museum was awesome; and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen some of his voluptuous style before in Europe. There was tons of other artists work here too; from old school colonial art to modern contemporary (but not so contemporary that you think “fucking hell, I could have done that myself”).


Botero’s work

We also took a free graffiti tour; and again, free in the sense of absolutely not free; but at the recommended $7 (20,000 pesos) was well worth it. We spent a few hours strolling around the artsy and old city area of La Candelaria, before heading downtown to check out some of the more political pieces. The local police apparently destroy any political graffiti in the touristic areas, and so you have to go a little off the beaten track to find it. The political pieces were definitely some of the more interesting; criticising the governments dealing with the homeless (taking away their ability to make a living by recycling) and persecuting farmers who are currently getting killed for peaceful protests.


Kitty grafitti

Bogotá houses the Museo del Oro, one of the largest Gold museums in the world; with the largest collection of Pre – Hispanic gold on the planet. It runs through processes used for smelting and crafting, before it get’s to the be the shiny attractive stuff people dangle from every pointy bit on their bodies. There is actually so much fucking gold in this place, that you get bored at looking at the stuff; albeit it is all very very breathtaking and beautiful. Worth a pop in at less than $1.50 entry.


Might just be enough for her to forgive you for that awful thing you did..

While here we also decided to try some of the local delicacies while here; both which were recommended to us by our graffiti tour guide. The first was Chicha, a Colombian beer thing that tastes like vinegar; and at almost $3 a glass, is up there with one of the most disgusting things I’ve put in my mouth. We also tried Hormiga Culona, AKA quite large disgusting fucking ant things. Thinking they’d compliment the Chicha, which they most certainly didn’t; these roasted treats apparently taste like “Colombian popcorn” but don’t. They weren’t bad bad, compared to the Chicha, but ya’know… still large disgusting fucking ant things. After this match made in heaven we ended up retreating to the hostel for a few hours, clutching our bellies.


Gross motherfuckers

Boquete pics.

Next, we’re catching another cheap ass flight to Medellín!


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